The Addressing of Cats

You've heard of several kinds of cat,
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter
To understand our character
You've learned enough to take the view
That Cats are very much like you
You've seen us both at work and games,
And learned about our proper names,
Our habits and our habitats
But, how would you ad-dress a Cat?

So first your memory I'll jog
And say a Cat is not a dog

With Cats, some say one rule is true
"Don't speak till you are spoken to"
Myself I do not hold with that
I say you should ad-dress a cat
But always bear in mind that he resents familiarity
So bow, and taking off your hat
Ad-dress him in this form: O Cat
Before a Cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend
Some little token of esteem is needed
Like a dish of cream
And you might now and then supply
Some caviar or Strausburg pie
Some potted grouse or salmon paste
Be sure to have his personal taste
And so in time you'll reach your aim
And call him by his name

A Cat's entitled to expect these evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that
And that's how you ad-dress a Cat

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